mihou
Rang: Administrateur
Nombre de messages : 8092
Localisation : Washington D.C.
Date d'inscription : 28/05/2005
 | | FUNNY JOKES | |
There was a boy, whose parents were very
strict in his upbringing.
They never allowed him to meet any girls,
except his own relatives.
However, one day, he saw one of his best
friends kissing a girl and he went to his Mother and asked her what they were
doing.
His Mother told him. "It's called kissing and any boy who does
that to a girl will die that very minute!"
On his 21st Birthday, he went
out with some friends, who introduced him to one of the sweetest girls around
town. She knew that he had never been kissed before.
When she eventually
got some time alone with him, she tried to kiss him but he resisted.
She
asked him, "What are you afraid of? It won't hurt."
He replied, "My
Mother said if I kiss a girl, I'll die that very minute!"
She replied,
"Don't be a baby, now come on, kiss me."
With that she gave him a hot
kiss, square across the lips.
He began to cry, "Oh, no, I'm going to
die."
She asked, "Why are you going to die?"
He replied, "I've
just kissed you and already one part of me has begun to get stiff!"Bono is at a U2 concert in Glasgow when he
asks the audience for some quiet.
Then, in the silence, he starts to
slowly clap his hands.
He says into the microphone, "Every time I clap my
hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice from near the front pierces the
silence, "Well, stop fucking clapping then!"
Bob can't get an erection so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor tells him
the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's nothing he can
do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.
Bob asks what the
surgery is and the doctor tells him they take some muscles from the base of a
baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the
best.
Bob says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having
sex again is even scarier, so he says ok.
The doctor goes ahead and
performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later he gives Bob the go ahead to "try
out his new equipment".
Bob takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner
Bob starts feeling incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he
figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.
No sooner does he do
this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs an
apple from the fruit basket, and disappears back into his pants.
His wife
sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look on her face. She says,
"That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"
With his eyes watering and
a painful look on his face, Bob says, Probably, but I don't know if I can fit
another apple up my ass." | |
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