Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself
in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800
to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her
$800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was
that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the
husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to !
prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun
said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But,
changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again
said," Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but
the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On
his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you
might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique ! oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
out.The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me
first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a
speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!"
says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with
my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love
of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the
manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
him,"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow,
and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull."They're
packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found
that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of
the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree.

Moral of the story: Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you there.



a good one



"Little David, who was Jewish, was failing math. His parents tried everything. Tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers, and nothing helped. As a last resort, someone told them to try a Catholic school. "Those nuns are tough" they said. David was soon enrolled at St.Mary's. After school on the very first day David ran through the door and straight to his room, without even kissing his mother hello.



He started studying furiously, books and papers spread out all over his room.

Right after dinner he ran upstairs without mentioning TV, and hit the books harder than before. His parents were amazed. This behavior continued for weeks, until report card day arrived. David quietly laid the envelope on the table, and went to his room. With great trepidation, his mother opened the report. David had gotten an A in math! She ran up to his room, threw her arms around him and asked, "David honey, how did this happen? Was it the nuns?



"No!", said David. "On the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.