Crazy Shit That Works

Crazy Shit That Works
Krista's Top 5 Experiments
by Krista Schaus
Tuck the kiddies into bed, close the door, buckle up, and get ready to
read some mind-blowing info about stuff so downright crazy, it's just
gotta work. These aren't trendy new techniques you can pick up from the
girl that leads your spin class. These are on a whole different level. Anyone
who's spent a serious amount of time and effort training has come up
with some crazy shit that works to take them to another level, both
mentally and physically. Everything we're about to go over is no
different.

Ladies doing crazy shit can make the boys stop and wonder.

Crazy Shit 101 Crazy shit comes from someone with intense passion and drive to get to
the elite level in their chosen discipline. Crazy shit will appear
insane to the non-crazy trainee or athlete. It almost always has a
purpose and it's always done with the belief that it will carryover
positively into the discipline being trained. Crazy trainees
that come up with crazy shit aren't usually beginners, but are seasoned
veterans of training and their discipline. Crazy shit isn't forced, it
just happens.
"Hey, what about this?"
"That's crazy shit, man!"

Britney works on twisting umbrella thrusts. That's really crazy shit! If
you've ever done crazy shit, you'll easily be able to recall the
memory. You don't forget crazy shit. Something I learned from my police
days on the subject of memory recall is that intense incidents are most
easily recalled. The more intense, the more quickly and easily
the incident is stored from short term to long-term memory. If you're
struggling to remember any crazy training shit you've done, then you
haven't done anything truly crazy.

Crazy Shit vs. Stupid Shit Don't
confuse crazy shit with stupid shit. They're quite different. I've seen
some dumb-ass moves in the gym, such as one-legged medicine ball
vertical leaps. What defines stupid shit? You'll know when
you're doing stupid shit in the gym because you'll suffer from a
serious case of cognitive dissonance. You'll feel stupid.
There'll be a clear disconnect between what you're doing and what
you're trying to achieve. You'll feel it in the pit of your stomach. Don't
worry though. If you've ever done crazy shit, then you don't likely do
much stupid shit. They're dichotomies. Most victims of stupid shit are
beginner trainees working with a dumb-ass trainer. You can see
it on their face as they are doing blindfolded side lateral raises with
tubing on a Bosu ball. They're saying in their head, "This is stupid
shit, man." But they're not yet experienced enough to tell the trainer
to screw off.

Bosu yoga? Seriously?!?

Keys to Crazy Shit Success
Check the expiration date Crazy
shit has a short shelf life and should only be useable for about three
workouts. Otherwise, it's just not that crazy. Novel and crazy aren't
the same. If it truly is crazy shit, your body will no longer benefit
after a few weeks. The craziest shit will be utilized just once
and then never spoken of again (at least, not without inducing tremors
and tears). You'll simply be satisfied having lived through it. But the
legacy will live on. Tell the grandkids, they'll think you're a
superhero.
Take ownership One person's shit may not be as crazy as yours or may not seem all that crazy to you, but it's theirs.
No one can take your shit away from you. It's hard to define in
concrete terms, but you just know when you've come up with crazy shit. You thought of it, you did it, you survived it, you benefited from it, and you can look back on it favorably (or not, depending on how crazy it was). You own it.
It's not supposed to be fun Crazy
shit is not intended to be fun. It's intended to take you to another
level of mental and physical toughness. It has the potential to make
you forget who you are and where you are.

Want a fun workout? Try Dance Dance Revolution. Or instead, you could do something that actually works. Truly
crazy shit will bring you into "the now" like nothing else. There's no
thought of past or future, only the present. It may be fun, but only
because you are the type of person who finds pleasure in crazy shit.
Don't talk it up You'll
detract from what crazy shit's all about if you feel the need to go and
brag about it. The more numptee-heads you share it with, the less
valuable it is. My advice is to simply invite someone (who can handle it and is worthy) to come and do your crazy shit with you, ifyou plan on doing it again. Only then are they a part of it. To really understand it, you just have to be there.

Krista's Top 5 List: Crazy Shit That Works
Barbell curls with chains Do
a set of barbell curls to failure, and note the reps. Then put whatever
chains you can handle around your neck for your next set and do three
sets to failure. If you were getting double digit reps on the first
set, add weight so your reps are somewhere between 5 and 9.

Take
the chains off for the last set, drop down to the weight of your first
set, and go for max reps again. If you get into crazy mental training
mode, I guarantee you'll nearly double your reps from the first set. Be careful, when you take the chains off (especially if they're at
least 25% of your bodyweight, which may be the case); you'll feel like
you're flying. This works great for dips also. For a twist on
this idea, you can wear a weighted vest during your entire workout
instead. This adds intensity in a way you likely haven't felt before.
Another variation is to put on the weighted vest for the first two or
three sets, then ditch it for the last set and rep it out.
Triple drop chin-up This
crazy shit started at PPC Toronto and evolved over a series of
workouts. An incredibly fit male client in his 60's was working on a
weighted chin up goal. He knew I could do weighted chin-ups and
inquired about my numbers. We started playing around. With a weighted
vest, chains, and a chin/dip belt, we piled stuff on and kept adding
the weight until failure. I ended up with a 10-pound vest, 16
pounds of chain, and a 10-pound plate on the belt for a total of 36
pounds, and I did a single. In the following weeks, we started adding
crazy-ass variations to this and we ended up with the triple drop. Load
up your body with three weighted options to get to your 5 rep max. In
this case, we used a 10-pound vest, 8-pound chain, and 5 pounds on the
belt for a 23-pound total. Do as many reps as you can, then drop a
weight while still holding onto the bar somehow. You can't drop down or
let go.

The
first and easiest to drop is the chain. Then rep it out again. I chose
not to close the vest so you can simply hang with one hand, then the
other, to get it off. Squeeze out another rep or two. Then try to ditch
the weight belt, which might be impossible if your grip doesn't allow
it. A few weeks later, this workout progressed into a rope
climb done in the same format. I highly suggest a rope with incremental
knots. Make this one a finishing exercise or better yet, done in
isolation as a mini-crazy-ass workout of its own. It takes everything
you've got to do it any justice. If you're not yet able to rep
out weighted chins, you can crazify your chin-up workout by doing a
modified chin-up with progressively easier grips. Start with an
overhand wide grip to max reps, then go right into an underhand wide
grip, and finally, an underhand close grip. Also, if you're
performing them at the squat rack in a reverse push-up format, the more
you bend the legs, the easier the movement will be.

Barbell weighted walk progression This
one came to life during a phase when I was working to get my
foundational strength back after my son was born so I could compete in
powerlifting again. After the last set of push presses, my
training partner and I would hold the last rep overhead in the lockout
position. Then we'd walk backwards, forwards, and sideways until we
couldn't hold the bar overhead any longer.

Next,
we let it come down to a front squat position and do as many front
squats as we could. Then quickly overhead press it to a back squat
position and do as many back squats as possible before walking back and
returning it to the rack. I'm calling it a progression because
it took us a month of workouts to get to the final product. In the
first workout, we held it overhead as long as we could. In the second
workout, we added the walking. The front squat and back squat were
added on over the next two workouts. The overhead barbell
weight walk is a scary one for many people. There's a feeling of loss
of control and stability with a weighted barbell over your head, and it
can be hard for people to overcome. To make this work for you, simply
use dumbbells instead of barbells.
Partner suicide deadlift workout Marion
Gibson, one of the strongest female lifters in the 60 kg division in
the International Powerlifting Federation, was my inspiration for the
Partner Suicide Deadlift workout. At the 2005 Commonwealth
Championships, the English dominated the deadlift. Returning from that,
I knew I had to get into some crazy shit to bring up my numbers. Come to train with a "game on" mentality. You must
do this workout with a partner or you will for sure wuss out by lifting
less weight and less reps, or you'll rest too long in between sets.

If this girlie is your partner... good luck.
Here's how we did this crazy shit:
Set 1) 135 x max reps (23)
Set 2) 185 x max reps (20)
Set 3) 205 x max reps (12)
Set 4) 225 x max reps ( Cool

Set 5) 245 x max reps (4)
Set 6) 275 x max reps (2)
Set 7) Add weight for a one rep max
Set Cool

Back down to 135 x max reps (28) You're
certain to beat your PR in the deadlift doing this workout. We did this
for three workouts over five weeks, using both conventional and sumo
style deadlifts. My PR in the deadlift went from 285 to 315 using this
method. Sometimes we would superset chin-ups or speed one-arm dumbbell
rows with these. Whatever crazy shit you feel like adding in, do it. What
makes this truly crazy shit is that you only get as much rest as it
takes your partner to do his or her set. So the slower they are, the
better for you. The faster you rep them out, the worse for them. The
goal is the beat your previous numbers for weight and reps anddominate your training partner at the same time. The
suicide partner workout is a killer with almost any compound exercise.
Give it a go with squats, pull-ups, the bench press, or walking lunges.
I thought suicide partner deadlifts were my all-time favorite,
crazy-ass workout until I remembered water bottle pause front squats.
They get the gold star award.
Water bottle pause front squats Like
me, I'm sure you're tired of listening to all the pathetic excuses from
your friends, family, and co-workers as to why they either can't train, don't train, or won't train. This particularly crazy workout emerged from a strong desire to prove that you can train anywhere, anytime, with whatever is around you. No excuses! A
few summers ago, I was preparing for an international competition and
my training was everything. On the other hand, we really needed a get
away. Thus, we created a "killer cottage workout" and the water bottle
pause front squats formed the foundation.

Who'da thought this was such a nasty, nasty training tool? What
made these extra insane was that we performed them for 3 cycles of 2
sets of 6 reps, with a 10 second pause at the bottom of each rep. We
gave ourselves one minute rest between sets and three minutes rest
between cycles. Then we followed these up with water bottle
cleans to each shoulder, and overhand pull-ups from the ceiling beams
superset with iron frying pan hammer curls. The water bottle front
squats remain one of my fondest crazy shit memories and helped earn a
bronze medal squat at the international competition that followed just
weeks afterwards. I wouldn't change anything about water bottle
front squats, but you can use smaller water bottles as needed. If front
squats are totally new to you, you'll get a crazy ass kicking with
bodyweight alone.

Shit That Didn't Make the List
Ab plate drops This
one hails back from the late '90s during my wanna-be-bodybuilder era
when I was taking fat burners and on a zero-carb cycle. My cognitive
function may not have been optimal, but because it was one of the first
memories that I recalled when I thought of crazy shit, I had to mention
it somewhere. It didn't make the Top 5 list because it did not
meet the criteria of "that works" and because it's closer to stupid
shit than crazy shit. It borders on dumb shit because you have to rely
on a partner to drop a 10 to 25 pound plate on your stomach (which is
reasonably close to your head). That's the kind of stuff that could
earn you a Darwin Award.

I think this guy was actually a trainer at my gym. Secondly,
it's a superficial abdominal exercise which certainly wouldn't qualify
as an exercise that would help propel me to elite rankings as a
strength athlete. I was really just a newbie to crazy shit at this
time, so this was a decent start.
Good morning sunshine combo I
used this dynamic superset after the birth of my son to build my best
post-baby body (actually, my best body to date) and to prepare and win
the Miss Greens competition when my son was 18 months old. This
handstand press/burpee combo didn't make the final Top 5 Crazy Shit
list because it's just not hardcore enough. Maybe if I would've thrown
in a max set of squats or something, but I didn't have a squat rack in
my bedroom (at that time) or else I probably would have. What
qualifies this as close-to-crazy shit is two fold. First, these
exercises on their own are killer... combining them is extra crazy.
Second, doing them immediately upon waking provides the "oh shit!"
component. As soon as you wake up, do a handstand against the
wall and bang out as many handstand presses as you can. Try to come
down as low as possible with the goal of touching your head to the
floor, and eventually, arching the back and neck to get your chin to
the ground. Then immediately do as many burpees as you can. Follow that
up with another set of handstand presses against the wall.

I get the feeling this chick's just showing off. Do
this every morning and add reps to the burpees every day until you
eventually get to 100 reps of burpees. I recommend starting with 10 and
trying to add 5 additional burpees each day. If you started in decent
shape and want to polish that physique off, in a few weeks you'll be in
killer shape.

Crazy Post Workout Shit If
you make it through crazy shit like partner suicide deadlifts, then you
are worthy of a post workout meal such as a Surge Root Beer Float:

1 cup Cola
1 cup milk or low fat ice cream
1 scoop Grow! Whey Protein Powder
2 scoops Root Beer Surge
1 tsp cinnamon Mix the Surge and milk together, then pour in the soda, otherwise you'll be sucking foam for hours. I
don't recommend dumb post workout shit like tuna and Diet Coke in a
blender, which I got sucked into trying during that cognitively
challenged period in my life I mentioned earlier.

Get Innovative and Insane All
you have to do now is tap into your innovation and insanity to come up
with some crazy shit of your own. But remember, don't force it or we
really don't want to hear about it. However, if you have any
crazy shit, or even stupid shit, in your training vault, I'd love to
hear what's on your crazy shit list.

About The Author

Krista
Schaus is a certified LII PIPC strength coach, IPF competitive
powerlifter (60 kg class), and former police officer. She owns and
operates Defining Edge Fitness Inc. out of Southern Ontario, Canada.
You can learn more about her at www.definingedge.ca.

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