Stupid Things Young Guys (And Some Older Guys) Do in the Gym
by Nate Green


Young guys do stupid things. It's how we're wired.
When we aren't doing stupid things, we worry about stupid
things, focusing on trivia at the expense of shit that really
matters.
So it's no surprise that most of us carry that propensity
for fucking up and fucking off into the gym when we work out.
Some of our mistakes are basic, some are more technical, and
some are even debatable. But the common theme is clear: we can all
use some help.
That's why I contacted three veteran coaches — Robert Dos
Remedios, Tony Gentilcore, and Chris Bathke — and asked them
to identify and correct the 10 most common mistakes they see young
lifters make.
Ignoring their advice? Well, that would just be stupid.


1. You haven't established why you're
training.
Do you want to look like Stan McQuay? Own the mat like Georges
St. Pierre? Get your name on the board at Westside Barbell?
Or are your goals more modest? As Bathke says, "Some guys
just want to look like Matthew McConaughey, hang out in Malibu, and
punch photographers."
There's no wrong answer. Your goals are your goals. The
hell with anyone who tries to tell you otherwise.
But what you can't do is leave your success to
chance by following a training program that wasn't designed
for you. Whatever goals you have, you can't reach them with
workouts created with an entirely different outcome in mind.
"If you want to be a professional bodybuilder, and have the
same genetics and pharmacist as Mr. Universe, then I see no problem
with training like him," Dos Remedios says. "But, if you
just want to look good and hook up with the ladies, then you have
to understand that his bodybuilding methods may not be your best
option."
Why not?
"When you're following a program that's not in
line with your goals, you're just wasting a ton of time doing
things that frankly are not that fucking important,"
Gentilcore says.
Bodybuilding, just to pick one example, is an activity that
requires you to build each muscle group to its maximum size, with
the best possible body composition and, Zeus willing, an appealing
and symmetrical overall shape. If that isn't your goal, it
makes no sense to invest the time and effort required to do
bodybuilders' workouts. At the same time, if your goal is to be a successful, contest-ready bodybuilder, then you
won't get there doing jump squats and speed work or anything
else specific to a running back or sprinter.
The bottom-line: Figure out what you want to look like
and how you want your body to perform, then find a training
program specific to those goals. Which brings us to
...


2. You've got the patience of a crack-addicted flea and
always find an excuse to skip past the basics.
You can't go to the gym and "wing it" if you
haven't yet built a base of size and strength in those wings.
"If you want to be cock-diesel, then you can't screw
around," Dos Remedios says. "Your body needs constant
stimulus and overload. That means having a big-picture, periodized
plan of attack for at least 10 to 12 weeks. Minimum."
A periodized training program might start with a four-week phase
designed to increase muscle size and develop a base of
conditioning. You'll do higher-volume workouts with weights
that may be lighter than you're used to using. That's
followed by a combined strength-and-hypertrophy phase, using
heavier weights for four weeks. The next stage would move you
toward more serious strength development.
Ideally, the periodized program should be set up something like
this:
"Most guys, especially if they're just beginning,
should be on a three-day-per-week, full body program with a ton of
compound movements, and focusing on perfect form," Gentilcore
says. "Each day you have a main lift" — deadlift
variation, squat variation, bench press — "and add some
accessory work around that."
In those 12 weeks, a previously unfocused lifter would probably
make bigger gains than he's made with years of self-designed
programs. And a genuine novice would get started the right
way.
The bottom line: Everyone needs to build a strong base
before moving on to more advanced or specialized routines. And,
although we used a 12-week example here, in reality you can spend
years doing periodized training for size and strength and continue
seeing progress. But before any of that can happen, you have to
stick with a single program longer than three days.


3. You're too damned functional.
Mobility+ joint integrity + addressing muscle imbalances = good
training strategy.
Excessive flexibility + lifting pussy weights + addressing
problems you don't actually have = near-total waste of your
time and energy.
"I remember this one guy who walked into our facility and
was talking about how weak his gluteus medius was," Gentilcore
says. "But I took one look at the guy and immediately thought,
'Are you fucking kidding me? You're 150 pounds and your
whole body is weak!' Who gives a shit about your glutes when
you can't even deadlift your own body weight?"
Being mobile and flexible is great, but not at the expense of
working hard.
The bottom line: Knowledge is good, as they used to say
at Faber College. Mobility, stability, and muscle balance are all
essential. But at some point you have to take the training wheels
off the bar and lift some actual weights.


And for chrissakes, stop using the Bosu
ball!





4. You're too damned dysfunctional.
For every guy who worries too much about his lateral stability
in the sagittal plane of movement, you'll find dozens, if not
hundreds, who have the opposite approach:
"Most of the guys I've seen who are following the
bodybuilder body-part splits are all out of whack," Bathke
says. "They're rarely doing any pulling exercises and
look more like a hunchback than anything. They're the type of
posturing, preening idiots my female clients laugh at."
There's an obvious fix here: balance the volume and
intensity of your pushing and pulling movements in the major
movement patterns. So you do the same amount of work on rows and
other horizontal pulls as you do on bench presses and other
horizontal pushes. For every set of overhead presses, you do a set
of chin-ups or pulldowns with an equally challenging load.
But that's only one part of the problem. The other part is
the emphasis on your smallest muscle groups.
"I understand you want big arms, but what the hell is the
purpose of training your biceps for 45 minutes straight?"
Gentilcore asks. "It's no bigger than a baseball.
Besides, if you can't do five pull-ups with good form, you
shouldn't even be doing a curl of any kind. Your arms will
grow once the rest of your body grows."
According to Dos Remedios, getting jacked is a by-product of
sound performance-style training. "I've got a
newsflash for all the skinny dudes who flex their nuts on the leg
press: I've seen chicks do reps with 700 pounds. How bad-ass
do you feel about your 10 plates now?"
His advice: Avoid leg presses, Smith machine squats, and
anything else that doesn't use your muscles in a way that
resembles athletic movement, or that has no obvious transfer to
sports performance. Choose squats, deadlifts, cleans, lunges, and
step-ups over exercises that involve sitting in a machine with your
back, ankles, and/or feet braced against pads.
The bottom line: Stand up to do your lower-body
exercises. Make sure your upper-body workouts achieve a balance of
pushing and pulling exercises. And choose compound movements
involving multiple joints (hips and knees; shoulders and elbows)
over those that attempt to isolate single muscle groups. Stick to
the basics and let your body move the way it was designed
to.


5. You forget the importance of overload.
Your body won't get bigger, stronger, or leaner unless you
force it to. That means working harder.
Look at it this way: Your body looks and performs the way it
does now because it's adapted to your current level of effort.
Sure, you can scratch out some minor gains by changing the
exercises or altering some other variables unrelated to effort. But
the biggest changes will come from overloading your muscles, rather
than merely giving them something different to do.

"Ninety-nine percent of guys in the gym have no concept of
what actual hard work is," Dos Remedios says. "You can
have the greatest program laid out for you, but if you aren't
leaving everything you have on the gym floor, you aren't going
to see results."
The bottom line: Does that mean you have to puke after
every training session? Hell no. But you do need to make sure your
workouts include progressions that allow you to lift more (using
heavier weights and/or doing more sets and reps) or lift harder
(shortening the rest period between sets and/or choosing more
challenging exercise variations).


6. Your cardio work is unimaginative and
boring.
"I'm not sure why, but guys still think they need to
do an hour of cardio after they train with weights," Bathke
says. What's wrong with that? "Most of the guys doing it
are the ones who weigh a buck forty and have no reason whatsoever
for burning that many calories or wasting that much time."
Even if you are a little on the chunky side and want to lean
down, steady-state endurance exercise is probably a poor choice for
you. First, the fact you're chunky suggests you don't
have a body type that adapts well to endurance exercise. Second,
the fact it's boring (that's why gyms put their cardio
machines in front of TV sets) means you're unlikely to stick
with it long enough to get the results you want, even if your body
responds to it. I mean, what's the reward for getting into
better shape? You need to exercise longer just to break even.
Bathke says you're much better off performing intervals and
other, more unconventional types of cardio. "Go outside and
run up a hill, or do some intervals on your bike. Throw on a
weighted vest and run some sprints."


Better than a treadmill



If going outside isn't an option, "pick up some
kettlebells and do some complexes and circuits mixed with
body-weight stuff," Bathke suggests. "You'll get
more done in 10 minutes than you ever would on a treadmill in
60."
The bottom line: Whether you're inside or out, mix
things up, break a sweat, challenge your coordination. You might
actually have some fun. Stranger things have happened.